pulchritudinous opus = beautiful works of art
I had named this blog so that I could share what I personally considered beautiful works of art. The art of writing, the art of photography, and any other thing of beauty that caught my eye.
Instead I've been posting about other things. Things I had never intended to share with anyone.
My mother died in July 2010. I won't sugarcoat it, it was an awful experience that included having the paramedics bash in her door with a sledge hammer. This is a time when having a photographic memory is not a blessing. That horrible day plays in my head like a movie put on a loop.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Drum Circle
I have a friend (who lives up North) that goes to a yearly retreat where they do a healing and energizing drum circle. I've been her friend for many years, and year after year I have read about her amazing experiences at this retreat and longed to find something like that for myself.
A year or so ago, I found a local metaphysical store that holds different spiritual events. I've been to a few here and there, as time and money allows. One of the things I've always been too timid to attend was the drum circle. These things are twice monthly, for the last few years and I have yet to get up the nerve to go.
Ok, and I fully admit that I'm am skeptical. Not skeptical about their claims and others' experiences. I'm skeptical that I would be lucky enough to experience such things. I'm afraid that I would be disappointed.
I gave myself a mental talking to. I set myself up for realistic expectations. I AM NOT going to have the same experience as others and it's ok if I don't, just relax, and have a good time. Oh and also drag a poor unsuspecting friend along for the ride. Afterall, isn't that what friends are for?
We arrive...drumless...Everyone is holding their Native American Hand Drums or their Djembe Drums. When the leader notices that we are empty handed, he hands me a shaker and a hand drum to my friend. Good enough for me!
We started out drumming in 10 minutes sets. He told us that since this was a Full Moon Circle we should meditate on being thankful for the things that we have in our life. We get through three 10 minute sets and I'm feeling nothing. I'm trying really hard to meditate but I'll be honest, I'm not that great at it unless I'm doing a guided meditation (which is a whole 'nother post). It doesn't help that the leader asked if anyone else heard singing and several people chimed in that they also heard it.
I'm stamping down the disappointment, giving myself a peptalk, but I'm also wondering at what point I can leave without being rude. Yeah, the disappointment is winning. I see everyone gearing up to start the next set and I take a deep breath and smile at my friend sitting to my right and then turn and smile at the stranger sitting on my left and suddenly I feel a 1000 times better.
We start into the 4th set and I have my eyes closed and I feel someone stomping on the ground. It feels like it's behind me but I know that isn't possible because we are sitting in a circle. I open my eyes and look at everyone, no one is stomping, yet I can still feel it coming from behind me. I turn around, the stomping stops...no on is there. Then after a moment, the lady directly across the circle from me turns and looks behind her chair. I guess it moved over by her after I scared it off. Don't worry it came back later that night. When that set finished we talked about the stomping and had a good laugh about it.
I felt special. I felt incredible. A spirit chose to dance by me and I felt it. Not only that, but I wasn't scared at all!
Then we started up the 5th set and the leader set a faster pace, a more up tempo drumming. My eyes were closed I was shaking my shaker when suddenly it felt like my chair was hovering a few inches off the ground and I was wobbling. I felt like a balloon, tied to the chair bobbing all around on my string. I opened my eyes and still felt like I was floating so I closed them again and the feeling was still there. Finally, I thought that maybe I might be hyperventilating or something weird, so I put my head down between my knees.
The leader stopped the circle and asked me if I was ok. I told him about the floating feeling and his response was that the beat was a bit too up tempo to cause an out of body experience, but it isn't unheard of. Out of body experience? huh! I hadn't considered that. I wasn't the only one it happened to either. This other lady had the same reaction. Then we did another set and while it was slower, it was still faster than the first few sets. This time I knew the feeling and didn't fight it. I just kinda floated along. It was so completely exhilarating and so completely freaky!
After that we slowed it way down, did two sets at that speed. The stomper came back, stamped his feet behind me, next to me, and in front of me. All I did was smile. Then I heard a lady singing, well actually I thought it was my friend, so I turned and looked at her and she wasn't singing. Afterwards she asked me if I heard the lady singing. Yep, I couldn't fight the big smile that came across my face, I sure did!
Wow! What an experience!
A year or so ago, I found a local metaphysical store that holds different spiritual events. I've been to a few here and there, as time and money allows. One of the things I've always been too timid to attend was the drum circle. These things are twice monthly, for the last few years and I have yet to get up the nerve to go.
Ok, and I fully admit that I'm am skeptical. Not skeptical about their claims and others' experiences. I'm skeptical that I would be lucky enough to experience such things. I'm afraid that I would be disappointed.
I gave myself a mental talking to. I set myself up for realistic expectations. I AM NOT going to have the same experience as others and it's ok if I don't, just relax, and have a good time. Oh and also drag a poor unsuspecting friend along for the ride. Afterall, isn't that what friends are for?
We arrive...drumless...Everyone is holding their Native American Hand Drums or their Djembe Drums. When the leader notices that we are empty handed, he hands me a shaker and a hand drum to my friend. Good enough for me!
We started out drumming in 10 minutes sets. He told us that since this was a Full Moon Circle we should meditate on being thankful for the things that we have in our life. We get through three 10 minute sets and I'm feeling nothing. I'm trying really hard to meditate but I'll be honest, I'm not that great at it unless I'm doing a guided meditation (which is a whole 'nother post). It doesn't help that the leader asked if anyone else heard singing and several people chimed in that they also heard it.
I'm stamping down the disappointment, giving myself a peptalk, but I'm also wondering at what point I can leave without being rude. Yeah, the disappointment is winning. I see everyone gearing up to start the next set and I take a deep breath and smile at my friend sitting to my right and then turn and smile at the stranger sitting on my left and suddenly I feel a 1000 times better.
We start into the 4th set and I have my eyes closed and I feel someone stomping on the ground. It feels like it's behind me but I know that isn't possible because we are sitting in a circle. I open my eyes and look at everyone, no one is stomping, yet I can still feel it coming from behind me. I turn around, the stomping stops...no on is there. Then after a moment, the lady directly across the circle from me turns and looks behind her chair. I guess it moved over by her after I scared it off. Don't worry it came back later that night. When that set finished we talked about the stomping and had a good laugh about it.
I felt special. I felt incredible. A spirit chose to dance by me and I felt it. Not only that, but I wasn't scared at all!
Then we started up the 5th set and the leader set a faster pace, a more up tempo drumming. My eyes were closed I was shaking my shaker when suddenly it felt like my chair was hovering a few inches off the ground and I was wobbling. I felt like a balloon, tied to the chair bobbing all around on my string. I opened my eyes and still felt like I was floating so I closed them again and the feeling was still there. Finally, I thought that maybe I might be hyperventilating or something weird, so I put my head down between my knees.
The leader stopped the circle and asked me if I was ok. I told him about the floating feeling and his response was that the beat was a bit too up tempo to cause an out of body experience, but it isn't unheard of. Out of body experience? huh! I hadn't considered that. I wasn't the only one it happened to either. This other lady had the same reaction. Then we did another set and while it was slower, it was still faster than the first few sets. This time I knew the feeling and didn't fight it. I just kinda floated along. It was so completely exhilarating and so completely freaky!
After that we slowed it way down, did two sets at that speed. The stomper came back, stamped his feet behind me, next to me, and in front of me. All I did was smile. Then I heard a lady singing, well actually I thought it was my friend, so I turned and looked at her and she wasn't singing. Afterwards she asked me if I heard the lady singing. Yep, I couldn't fight the big smile that came across my face, I sure did!
Wow! What an experience!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Cooking with Intent
I've always cooked with intent, though I didn't know what it was at the time. When I cook I put all my energy into making it. I think good thoughts, "the kids are going to love this" or "this is the type of meal that will have us sitting around the table telling funny stories." These meals, almost always turn out really well, look pretty, and do indeed make us happy and satisfied.
Other times food has the opposite affect. This often happens when I'm using ingredients or a method I'm unsure about, it makes me anxious, or the food just looks ugly and unappetizing, no matter how tasty it might be. These meals are almost always rejected, noses turned up, I feel sad and unloved because no one wanted to eat it, especially after making something that caused me so much anxiety. This is especially frustrating when I know it tastes good and has a lot of potential.
No, I don't give up on these new menu items. I usually think of something different I can do the next time I make it and then low and behold, I'm happy and confident when I make it and everyone eats it and loves it.
Not too long ago I was flittering around on the internet, which is common for me, and somehow came across a website about cooking with intent or as some called it kitchen witchery.
It was at that point that I started to put two and two together.
Believe what you want but I believe I really was pouring all of my feelings and thoughts and energies into my food.
It makes me think of the book The Secret, that was all the rage a while back. Remember how it was all about sending your will, your intent, your positive energy out into the universe so that it would come back to you? To me this is the same idea. Actually, if you read up on wiccan and witchcraft, a lot of it is the same idea. It's nothing like the witchcraft that is performed on television shows like Charmed or Buffy. It's all about your will and your intent and sending those energies into the universe. I wonder if anyone ever actually connected The Secret with witchcraft?
Looks like I have some more internet flittering to do.
Other times food has the opposite affect. This often happens when I'm using ingredients or a method I'm unsure about, it makes me anxious, or the food just looks ugly and unappetizing, no matter how tasty it might be. These meals are almost always rejected, noses turned up, I feel sad and unloved because no one wanted to eat it, especially after making something that caused me so much anxiety. This is especially frustrating when I know it tastes good and has a lot of potential.
No, I don't give up on these new menu items. I usually think of something different I can do the next time I make it and then low and behold, I'm happy and confident when I make it and everyone eats it and loves it.
Not too long ago I was flittering around on the internet, which is common for me, and somehow came across a website about cooking with intent or as some called it kitchen witchery.
It was at that point that I started to put two and two together.
Believe what you want but I believe I really was pouring all of my feelings and thoughts and energies into my food.
It makes me think of the book The Secret, that was all the rage a while back. Remember how it was all about sending your will, your intent, your positive energy out into the universe so that it would come back to you? To me this is the same idea. Actually, if you read up on wiccan and witchcraft, a lot of it is the same idea. It's nothing like the witchcraft that is performed on television shows like Charmed or Buffy. It's all about your will and your intent and sending those energies into the universe. I wonder if anyone ever actually connected The Secret with witchcraft?
Looks like I have some more internet flittering to do.
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